Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

Archive for the tag “sex”

That’s not a rose

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. -Dorothy Parker

Sometimes life is unfair. In this case it is being unfair to the males. 

And I whole heartedly approve. 🙂

Valentine’s Day maybe an overrated holiday (and it is to me) but I’m still expecting Lyo to come up with something. Which means I can’t be disappointed when it isn’t what I thought about getting. 

I’m really pushing this idea of romance because I’ve never had it. So I don’t know what the hell it is. For some it is flowers. For some it is a nice dinner out at a restaurant that the gods themselves couldn’t afford. And for others it is a quiet camping holiday without distractions.

For me…??

I haven’t a clue. 

The bad news is neither does Lyo. 😛 I don’t think he’s ever really thought about it or had to try to create romance before. But I could be wrong about that. He does have 29+ years more experience than I do. So he should have an idea right?

~chuckles~

Actually I haven’t really been into the romance idea until recently. After the surgery it has become more of a focus than it used to be. But I’m a hard person to romance.

I love roses, but hate flowers. I love chocolate chip cookies, Kisses, Peanut butter covered in chocolate, and milk chocolate truffles. But I hate most other kinds of chocolate. I love teddy bears, but I’m running out of room to keep them. I love to eat, but I’m a diet. 

And of course there’s no guarantee that Lyo will be getting what he wants for V-day anyways. 😉 Not that I would say no on purpose to be mean, but…things happen. And with me being me…I can feel ready one second then totally change my mind the next.

I’m opposite girl when it comes to sex. Which frustrates the hell out of Lyo, and leaves me feeling somewhere between frustrated and amused.

The joys of love. 😀

One Step Forward…

Social skils, artistic ways I need to brighten my days. Gentleness, diplomacy are necessary now to me. Libra Dragon gracious, good help me as you know you should.

And a million steps back. ~wry grin~

This is where I call on what little social skills I have and play the vicious game I’ve often been on the losing side of. The name of the game boys and girls is Make Them Miserable. It is an emotional game that doesn’t have many winners…if any. It is a game that can be played with just about anyone for any reason. In this case…I’ll be playing with Lyo. If he wants me miserable and worried that I’ve done something wrong…then two can play just as well as one.

Yes, I realize that this will hurt me just as much as it hurts him, but I’m not going through Life being held responsible for someone else’s problems. Nor their emotions. I may be able to feel them in close quarters, but that doesn’t make me responsible for them. Madre tried that game with me and I walked out of her life…push me too far and I’ll do the same bloody thing. ~sighs~ Not that this situation is even remotely close to that…yet. But it is something I remind myself of frequently when shit starts happening.

~deep breath~ I’m okay…I’ll be okay…

This isn’t anything that Lyo and I can’t get through. But that doesn’t mean I won’t play the game. After a night of complete silence and most of the morning as well…~shrugs~ he needs to learn that trying to guilt me into sex is NOT OK or even recommended for his health.

Oh Sh….

Social skils, artistic ways I need to brighten my days. Gentleness, diplomacy are necessary now to me. Libra Dragon gracious, good help me as you know you should.

Sometimes I begin to wonder why I bother. Honestly, my social skills are…well, much less than they should be considering my age and profession. But I guess that isn’t here nor there at the moment. At the moment I’m fairly certain that I’ve somehow made another blunder with my Mate. I wasn’t feeling well and so sex was out of the question.

Now before you go saying that he shouldn’t make me feel bad about not making love to him try to understand. I have no sex drive. NONE. It holds nothing for me. He has to curb his natural instincts quite a bit in this area of our life together. And trust me, I’m working on it to. But the fact of the matter is…I have no sex drive and he does.

So…how does this fit into learning about Libra. Well, Libra is a water sign and water in my world is not only an emotional element it is also the connection between the seen and unseen. Not to mention what the meditation says at the top. “Social skills”. And gods help me this is something I’m going to be practicing very soon. I have a 4 hour car ride with a very silent and distant Mate today. ~wry grin~ And I can imagine what we’ll be talking about.

Funny thing…we’ve had this talk before. 🙂  Maybe now he’ll be ready to listen. Or maybe not. Males never seem to undstand that females are dictated to by their bodies…not their body’s cycles. At least that has been my experience. 🙂  But I’m only 31…what do I know.

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