Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

Archive for the tag “Jax”

Okay somethings do change, just not all that much

No good deed goes unpunished.-Clare Booth Luce

Well, now that the holidays are finally over maybe I can finally relax a bit. I doubt it, but it is worth a shot. And speaking of no good deeds… one of my own is coming back to bite me in the ass.

One of the things that Lyo and I disagree on is dealing with people who want to use me for something. Lyo is all for giving people multiple opportunities to use himself. He tends to call these people friends (or something close to it). For myself- I tend to avoid people who want to use me for something… anything really.

Allow me to introduce you to Sybil. She is Madre’s twin (not by birth but by deed). Growing up Sybil was convinced I was the devil’s advocate and lead her child (a very very good friend of mine) astray. In fact the only thing Sybil and Madre agreed upon was to keep the two of us apart. Which worked out really well… for them.

Long story short here- after Jax died Sybil decided that I would be her new friend.

I’m serious here.

She tracked me down at my job and we went out for lunch. (At these point in my life I was more interested in the next meal than I was being friendly with her, but still I know I opened the door here.) And ever since any time she happens to be in the same area or building she makes a point of stopping by to see me.

Yesterday though was a first- she tracked down Lyo. ย ๐Ÿ˜› Whileย he was at work. Now he wants me to be nicer to her. >_< ย He seems to think that the way I live my life these days is closer to what Sybil wanted for Jax. More conventional is how he worded it. He also commented that she seemed to be a really nice lady.

Yes, and a snake is pretty to look at until it bites your hand too.

I’m actually more amused by the whole thing rather than annoyed with Lyo or Sybil.

Why?

Because watching/listening to someone go from “she’s the devil’s child” to “I’m so proud of you” is hilarious no matter who you are. ๐Ÿ™‚

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Celebrating a Spirit and Remembering a Life

โ€œPositive outlook I want in my life, Warm thoughts and firm persistence, I want to be generous, outgoing to all, For these I need your assistance.โ€

Today is going to be a challenge to have a positive outlook, but not impossible. That is something I’m learning…slowly. ๐Ÿ™‚ย  Two years ago I ‘lost’ one of the most important people in my life. But here’s the thing, I still feel her with me on occasion so she really isn’t completely gone. I just can’t give her a hug or show her something that I think she would like. And that my friends is what I’m truly missing.

I suppose you could say that I’ve gotten used to not having my friend around in the physical sense, but there are still days that it hurts more than anything. Yet today is a celebration of sorts. She went where I can only dream of going right now. She knows things I can only guess at. And I can tell you she is having fun discovering everything there is know about that new place. Just to rub it in my face when I get there. ๐Ÿ™‚

For those that believe in reincarnation (I’m uncertain on that front) I think she probably would come back as a blackbird or maybe the small hummingbird that has been hanging around for the past month. ๐Ÿ™‚ย  Honestly I’m not sure what she would come back as. It is kind of hard to imagine her being forced back here, though if given the chance she might.

That was one thing that I always loved and sometimes became frustrated about her. The lack of anything resembling a solid plan. These days though I have learned that sometimes that is a good thing. ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

So I will raise a glass, light the candles and incense, and play the songs that remind me of her the most. And I will remember all she taught me about life and love. I will celebrate her spirit that goes on. In short…I’m going to try to put a positive spin on the day. ๐Ÿ™‚

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