Grief does not change you, it reveals you. –John Green
There are unexpected moments in my life where I question if what I’m doing is right. This isn’t like The Question . This is more like re-evaluation than trying to find an answer. Today’s moment was about children.
I’ve decided and taken steps to prevent myself from having any, which in my opinion is great. It really is…but was it the right choice?
Who do I pass on my things to when I die? Who will be there when I’m too old to take care of myself? Who is even going to notice that I’m not alive anymore?
Not the rest of Madre’s clan. For the most part they won’t even notice since we don’t talk much. Not Lyo’s family- most of them dislike me in any event. 😛 I’m not so sure about anyone in Jax’s Pack that I still talk to. They would most likely notice I’m not updating, but as the years roll by I’ve lost touch with most of them so it is up for debate. My own Pack is relatively small and most of them are older than I am so it is likely I’ll be the last member left alive when all is said and done.
So was it really the right choice not to have kids? Not to have someone to pass on my values, thoughts, and loves to.
As sad as it is that I will likely be the last one left… it was and is the right choice for me.
I am a selfish person with no room in my life for miniature humans running around developing their own lives.
Besides- no one really needs another ME running around. 😛