Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

Archive for the tag “blackmail”

Sharing. It’s the pain that keeps on going.

Seek simplicity, and distrust it.
-Alfred North Whitehead

Sharing hobbies is kind of like sharing clothes when it comes to long term relationships. The fit is never quite the same for the other person. 

Now granted I don’t share my hobbies with Lyo all that frequently. Movie Night being the exception. 🙂 And even that is a compromise of a kind considering I love horror and SyFy movies and he is more into the musicals, animated, and old science fiction movies. 

Recently Lyo and I are sharing another hobby this time one of his. Target practice. 🙂 All I can say is thank the gods for Duck Hunter. With a .22 I’m decent for having only shot a pistol on two occasions… counting today. 😛

But you should see Lyo’s face what we’re out there and punching holes whatever target we bring. Happy just doesn’t seem to cover the expression on his face as we drive out there and back. It is almost like he was lonely before and now he’s found someone he can share knowledge with while having fun doing an activity.

Seriously, if you have someone you really really care about- friend, lover, or whatever- ask to be apart of an activity that you don’t normally do together. Like going to a museum, baseball game, book reading, film festival, gun shopping or whatever. Ask them questions. Point out things that interest you. Be interactive.

But above all. Watch your person when they aren’t looking at you. I’m betting there will be a smile there somewhere. They’ll be a little more animated when they answer questions or offer an opinion. 

More importantly. If you go do an activity with them then they are supposed to return the favor and do something you want to do. 😀 Favor blackmail is an awesome tool when you know that they are going to HATE it. 


Timing can be everything

Treat the other man’s faith gently; it is all he has to believe with. His mind was created for his own thoughts, not yours or mine.
-Henry S. Haskins

There are many people I respect that have religion of one kind or another. They range from the Christian right on through dead religions and even the religious beer drinker. The one thing that they share in common is that they do not try to force me into thinking their way. And not in the ‘oh you’ll go somewhere nasty in the here after’ kind of way. It is more of a ‘okay, this isn’t for you I’ll shut up now’ way.

But I’ve also run across people who continue to push. I’ve heard just about everything from ‘You’ll go to hell’ to ‘I feel so sad for you’. Mainly they try to convince me that by negative emotions that I’m in danger of something. But I will say last night takes the prize for the most…out right blatant use of emotional blackmail I’ve seen from anyone religious.

So a little back story before I go on.

Lyo had joined the LDS (or whatever group it is) quite a few years ago. He hasn’t been an active member for nearly the same amount of time, but these people continue to track him down every time he moves. No big deal really. Most of them are nice. One couple are friends of ours that just got back into the church big time. And a lot of them are young…very young.

And most of them take the option of walking away from me when I tell them that I don’t join groups (I generally leave out the snarky comments of bullshit and the hypocritical morals unless I’m pushed).

But last night I had a lovely encounter with two people who took the prize. Actually I shouldn’t really say anything about her, she didn’t do much talking, but he did.

It started out the same as always but with a slight twist since Lyo and I were married. Basically talking about joining the church and how wonderful it is. Blah, blah, blah. And I reply with a small smile my usual- “not a joiner. I’m good where I am”.

Then came the blackmail.

Lyo has given you this. Lyo has given you that. He wants you to join the church so that you can be with him forever. Because if you don’t then you will never see him in the afterlife.

Now at this point I would like to say that the conversation ended with both of them being thrown out of my house. 🙂

But that didn’t happen. 😦

Nor did I go into all the reasons I think their theory is bullshit.

The reason- Lyo is going through a hard time right now. A lot of personal and professional things have decided that this was the month that they all wanted to come to a head. He doesn’t need his wife erupting into a fountain of arguments and counter points, or physically throwing people out of our home right now.

So I was polite. Mad but polite. And our friends had just lost a bit of the respect I had for them.


Once things calm down and life starts to even out again the next encounter will be very…very different. And yes- there will be another time in the not so distant future when two more will knock on our door. I hope they get a warning from the last two because I don’t intend to let that kind of  blackmail talk in my house again.


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