Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

Archive for the tag “art”

I wouldn’t change a thing…maybe…

I like life. It’s something to do.
-Ronnie Shakes

The Experiment is going well. A few minor glitches since I’ve upgraded to Lisa, but nothing that I’m too worried over. Though I do wish that there were easier ways to update my Java and Shockwave Player. And for all I know there may well be an easier way than what I’m doing, but I’m not going to stress on it. Life is too short and there are computers that will do what I need them the java for. 

Lyo and I are trying to start a weekly Movie Night. It is kind of like Date Night, but you don’t need to go anywhere. You still get the popcorn and big theater sound, but not the cost. I’ve actually been thinking about it lately since our lives have become busy.

And by busy I mean we have more of a social life now than in the 10 year previously combined.

I know shocking isn’t it. 😛

But still true. I think what is keeping me from freaking out about this much social activity is that most of the people I’ve known for a few years. The others I hang out with at deer camp. And some are people who’ve been hanging around the edges long enough that they finally feel a comfortable around us I guess. So in one way or another I’ve known them for sometime.

But it still seems odd to me. 

I’m used to a hermit like life. I go to work to socialize then go home and tune out the world to the best of my ability aided by alcohol. 🙂 At least I used to. These days I go home and my first thought is to take care of Lyo or the house. Sometimes even the neighborhood dogs if they’re out and about.

But I miss being my hermit-self. It was cozy and comfortable. I learned a lot from books and the internet (most of it I’ve ignored). And I always had something creative going. Now it seems like the more social I get the less I get done or learn.

I guess I’m just never happy where I am even though I feel happy about it.

Life is odd sometimes. 🙂

Head meet Wall.

We are the people our parents warned us about.
-Jimmy Buffett

So try to picture this-

An adopted kid sitting in the living room with her adopted family having a conversation about her going to New Orleans. Being warned that there are evil people who will take advantage of her at every turn of the trip on the Greyhound Bus. That there will be people who will rape her just because she has a slightly darker skin tone than they do. That there will be people who will call her racist names.

Those people are evil white people.

Her adoptive parents are white.

Confusion.

 

I have a hard time saying no to people sometimes. As in Muppet’s case. ~sighs~ I could have scheduled tonight’s session for the weekend, but…yeah…she needs help and I already said I would help her. That being the case I’d rather get this over and done with sooner rather than later.

Kind of like I did with Mel.

I don’t feel bad about offering to help, but I get annoyed when it eats into ME time. Which there is precious little of these days. Between being the responsible adult and everything else that I should be doing…yeah, not much ME time in there.

I know I shouldn’t offer to help someone casually, but sometimes it just happens. Oh well. 🙂 It gives me an excuse to have pizza and maybe a beer tonight if I can swing it on my diet. 😀 Luckily the Super Bowl isn’t until Sunday so my points reset for the week before I have to worry about it. But I do have to figure out if I can afford to get drinks for Sunday.

I haven’t really followed football for a few years, but the 49ers have always been my team. So how can I not watch when they’ve made it this far? So that eats up Sunday. And of course Lyo and I have stuff planned for Saturday.

Can someone tell me why is it that every time I start on something I want to do something (Research, painting, writing, reading, etc.) my life suddenly goes into active overdrive? It can be damn annoying sometimes. 😛

Art and Me

Before you begin a thing, remind yourself that difficulties and delays quite impossible to foresee are ahead. If you could see them clearly, naturally you could do a great deal to get rid of them but you can’t. You can only see one thing clearly and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that and cling to it through thick and thin. –Kathleen Norris

 

Or, as it is often in my case, put the whole mess aside until it becomes clear what you are trying to accomplish. Sometimes it takes awhile to achieve something and other times it seems that Luck, Fate, Destiny or any host of gods/goddesses decides to take a hand in what direction you go. I’ve learned the hard way (a few times :)) that trying to force something is not the way to give it life. For me this applies to work, hobbies, relationships and living in general.

One of my proudest moments was when I had an art showing at a local coffee shop. I think there was a grand total of 5-7 paintings that ended up going on the wall for a month. I got a lot of positive feedback (even one that said I should try to sell them) and encouragement to paint again.

I loved it.

More importantly I loved the release it gave me. This was at a point in my life where I had to make a choice. Go on hating where I had come from and maybe run away to another city where I didn’t have to deal with the people who were involved. Or let go of the hate and make my way to a different ME, one that didn’t have to care what had happened in the past- I couldn’t change it anyways. It had helped shape me, but it didn’t have any power over me if I didn’t want it to.

All that mattered was my opinion.

I was so excited about that show that I immediately signed up for another one the following year. I thought I could pull together another series that this time had little or nothing to do with myself closely. But that venture failed. I learned that I couldn’t force myself to keep myself out of my art work. And as time grew shorter and my opening was little more than months away I realized that as far as painting went. I had said what I needed to say.

But art wasn’t quite done with me just yet. In fact it was an unfinished piece that began to push me toward my Research project this year and toward another spurt of growth for me. 🙂

I may not cling to goals through thick and thin but sometimes I think that it might be better that way. It’s worked so far. 😀

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