Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

Archive for the tag “afterlife”

This bites and I can’t fix it

Maybe it was only a second of your time, but you need to treasure life, every second.Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata

Bah. The ride isn’t over yet I fear. It seems to me that I’ve been on this emotional thrill ride long enough, but apparently it isn’t done with me.

Actually the weekend started out alright. Lyo was a little miffed because it was the end of his vacation, but he was doing ok. Then when we were out at the Pit we get a call from Dad’s nurses. He is declining again. Not unexpected, but painful. Very painful. (That and we though my Jim-E was broken. It wasn’t and I ended up with a Taurus anyways.)

So yesterday Lyo and I ended up in the Valley to meet with the hospice people (who were very nice) and to see Dad. Or rather see Dad’s body. I hope to hell he isn’t in there still. I don’t like to think of anyone still trapped in their body while it takes its time dying. ~shudder~ Gods it sucks for him. And for Lyo who had to say goodbye.

Death is never an ending. If you’re the one dying then maybe it could be, but I choose to believe that there is something after this. Heaven, hell, or maybe a huge party. Just something.

But for those who can’t go…yeah…Death doesn’t end a damn thing. I can accept that for me, but I don’t think I can for Lyo. Which pisses me off for no other reason than it does. But I can’t make what is normal for us now the normal after Dad dies. It doesn’t work that way. Or at least it shouldn’t.

Death is supposed to change things. You can’t know how or what kind of change. But it changes everything. And at least for me it pisses me off when the world doesn’t acknowledge that something has changed. And all the ‘i’m sorry’ s just don’t cover it. 😦

Word of advice- never say “I’m sorry”at a funeral…at least not at mine. I may be dead, but if I can I’ll come back and kick your ass for it. 😛


Timing can be everything

Treat the other man’s faith gently; it is all he has to believe with. His mind was created for his own thoughts, not yours or mine.
-Henry S. Haskins

There are many people I respect that have religion of one kind or another. They range from the Christian right on through dead religions and even the religious beer drinker. The one thing that they share in common is that they do not try to force me into thinking their way. And not in the ‘oh you’ll go somewhere nasty in the here after’ kind of way. It is more of a ‘okay, this isn’t for you I’ll shut up now’ way.

But I’ve also run across people who continue to push. I’ve heard just about everything from ‘You’ll go to hell’ to ‘I feel so sad for you’. Mainly they try to convince me that by negative emotions that I’m in danger of something. But I will say last night takes the prize for the most…out right blatant use of emotional blackmail I’ve seen from anyone religious.

So a little back story before I go on.

Lyo had joined the LDS (or whatever group it is) quite a few years ago. He hasn’t been an active member for nearly the same amount of time, but these people continue to track him down every time he moves. No big deal really. Most of them are nice. One couple are friends of ours that just got back into the church big time. And a lot of them are young…very young.

And most of them take the option of walking away from me when I tell them that I don’t join groups (I generally leave out the snarky comments of bullshit and the hypocritical morals unless I’m pushed).

But last night I had a lovely encounter with two people who took the prize. Actually I shouldn’t really say anything about her, she didn’t do much talking, but he did.

It started out the same as always but with a slight twist since Lyo and I were married. Basically talking about joining the church and how wonderful it is. Blah, blah, blah. And I reply with a small smile my usual- “not a joiner. I’m good where I am”.

Then came the blackmail.

Lyo has given you this. Lyo has given you that. He wants you to join the church so that you can be with him forever. Because if you don’t then you will never see him in the afterlife.

Now at this point I would like to say that the conversation ended with both of them being thrown out of my house. 🙂

But that didn’t happen. 😦

Nor did I go into all the reasons I think their theory is bullshit.

The reason- Lyo is going through a hard time right now. A lot of personal and professional things have decided that this was the month that they all wanted to come to a head. He doesn’t need his wife erupting into a fountain of arguments and counter points, or physically throwing people out of our home right now.

So I was polite. Mad but polite. And our friends had just lost a bit of the respect I had for them.


Once things calm down and life starts to even out again the next encounter will be very…very different. And yes- there will be another time in the not so distant future when two more will knock on our door. I hope they get a warning from the last two because I don’t intend to let that kind of  blackmail talk in my house again.


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