Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

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Adventures to plan


I have fallen out of practice again. Not just in writing, but in my spiritual life as well. And the longer I wait the harder it is going to be to get back into it.

So I need a challenge. An adventure that will scare the hell out of me. ~grins~ Why scare and not thrill? Because I want my adventure to end up with me being stronger and pushing forward. For me thrills just mean that I enjoyed myself and that I probably won’t do it again. Odd but true. I’m not a thrill seeker by any stretch of the imagination so that just leaves giving myself a challenging adventure.

But what adventure? That is the crossroads I’m standing in the middle of.

Should the adventure be someplace I go? Something I do? Should it be internal adventure (trust me going through my head/heart could be one)?

Maybe figure out something that does all 3?


There is a bright side


Some days I wonder how difficult am I to understand? Am I not clear when I give instructions about how to do something?


I know I’m not the best at communicating. I’m a shy person when meeting face to face. And despite my dramatic dream life, I’m not confrontational. This is something that I need to work on, but I’d rather not use people I know as guinea pigs if I can help it.

Which doesn’t leave a lot of room in my life for practicing, but since I don’t really want to over do it works out just fine for me. 😀

Saying one thing and doing the other

A person who trusts no one can’t be trusted.Jerome Blattner

The above statement is very true. I should know because I don’t trust people in general. We are stupid creatures who have forgotten that we are indeed just another creature on this planet. Well, that and 7 out of 10 times if I trust someone it comes back to bite me in the ass. Sad, but true.

Also I know that I cannot be trusted.

Example (from years and years ago)- Getting off work one night I find what looks to be $5 on the ground between my car and the next. I look around, pick it up, get in my car and drive away. I head down to the beach to have a few drinks and discover it isn’t a 5, it’s a $20… alot of $20s. A few weeks later (after holding onto the money for a bit then spending it) I discover that one of the local bar flies has dropped the money. I keep my mouth shut.

I’m not exactly ashamed of it nor am I proud of the fact either. It is was it is. I stole money that someone dropped. And if I really practiced what I preach about responsibility then I should probably turn myself in.

Luckily at that point in time I didn’t have my pet theory. Nor does my pet theory actually require me to confess my sins without being asked directly. 😛 Why?

Because no one is 100% honest 100% of the time.

Try it for yourself. Go one hour, one day, one afternoon of not lying. No white lies. No taking that extra bit of change from the store. No cutting in line when the other person has to run to get something they forgot. No holding back the son of a bitch that you wanted to say to the idiot who nearly ran over your foot int he parking lot.

None of it.

I made it all of 2 minutes before I cracked. And that was only because no one else was in the room. 😛

The world is a cruel place. Better learn to lie with the best of them. 😀

Riiight… and the toothfairy is a nice person too…

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright

There are few things worse then realizing you’re going to be in the system. One of them is volunteering for it. 😛

Oh well. It will help me do my job better. Which is a nice change from how I normally view a job. Yes, even the jobs I’ve liked I’ve held the view that work stays at work and never comes home. I don’t always follow that point of view, but I’ve held it…and applied it from time to time. 😉

Which makes me wonder about all those spies and security officials. Do they really care about their jobs or does their work stay at work? More importantly do I really want them taking work home with them?

And I don’t mean the files that these people have access to. I mean the information they have in their brains.

I know when I drink I tend to drink too much. I also tend to do things that I shouldn’t do. We’ve been there and talked about that.

But what about the guy who looked up my credit card information today? What about the guy that has the last 4 of social security number, my address, and phone number?

Can I really trust these guys?

I know when I worked in retail and in restaurants I was pretty tempted to use the information I got from people. And trust me it was a lot of temptation at times. I never did though. ~sighs~ Wasted youth….

I suppose I’m a better person for it in the long run. After all I’m trustworthy.


I don’t deal with the devil…I just agree with him

If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve the name.
A. A. Milne

Some days….

I had a choice yesterday. I could agree with Glenn Beck or I could side with John Boehner. Here are two guys that nearly 100% of the time I want nothing to do with. Now I have to choose between the two?


If it wasn’t so funny I’d be more upset about the whole thing. 😛 But when you are forced to agree with the devil you might as well make it a tough call to make. The actual choice wasn’t that hard to make. And sadly I must admit to agreeing with Beck. ~sighs~

Never say never. 😉


The Weekend and Stuff

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they’re in August.
Ronnie Shakes

Health issues aside- today is a good day. Lyo went back to work although on modified duty. And I cleared my basket.

Yep that deserves a beer or two. 😛
Or three. 😀

And over the weekend I saw several news stories that just made me shake my head in laughter and in puzzlement. There was a reason for evolution and I’m pretty sure that we (as a species) have managed to overrule it in protecting stupidity.

Like the guy who nearly burned down his house. He was trying to kill weeds with a propane torch.

Now I’m a fire lover at heart. And yes as a young child I would often start fires. But even I knew that you shouldn’t let fire get away from you. Well that and Madre held my fingers over a burning match at the age of 4. (Great life lesson there.)

Or how about the kids that thought going a hundred miles per hour down a slope with huge dips/bumps in a car. 65-70 is really as fast as you need to go down one of those things to know that controlling a sedan on the rebound is not as easy as they make it look in the movies (where they go maybe 20mph- I’m guessing).


Life is short enough for everyone.  🙂

Yes even I have a fear

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Douglas Adams

Summer if finally starting to show up here. It has been a long few weeks since the sun last made a warm appearance. And I am itching to get my bike out of storage. Hopefully there aren’t too many spiders that I have to worry about. 😉

I have noticed though that more and more spiders that I don’t ever remember seeing this far north are starting to put in an appearance. Black Widows especially. Before going to California for a vacation years and years ago I had never run across one. Now the bloody bitches are living under my front steps. I dread the day that tarantulas start showing up. 😦

A little known fact about me- I’m freaked out by a black and tan tarantula.

No other kind. Just that one.

The only reason I can come up with is a combination of back drug reaction when I was 5 and the Brady Bunch Hawaii vacation episode. Not rational I know, but I never claimed my mind was rational about fear.

As a kid I used to hand pick up brown recluse spiders all the time. Fortunately at the time I had no idea they were poisonous. They were just something cool and they kept bees away. Same with the garden spiders.

Needless to say that I don’t pick up spiders anymore. And I’m very careful about leaving shoes in the closet. If they’ve been in there for more than a night I diligently check them for spiders by knocking them against the bed or closet door. Then I shine a light down into each shoe to make sure nothing is crawling in there.

And I will throw shoes away that have been sitting outside for any length of time. I just know that there is a spider or eggs in there.

I may spend a lot in shoes (thank the gods for Payless Shoe sales) but I haven’t been bitten yet. Though I may never go outside again if  I see a tarantula anytime soon. 😉tarantula

Today’s Goal- Justify Your Job

It’s hard to take over the world when you sleep 20 hours a day.
Darby Conley

I would say that I haven’t had time to write because things have been so hectic, but… that would be a lie. Something I’m trying to avoid on here. Truth is- I was too tired/lazy/bored to write anything useful. So I didn’t try.

Not that I have much to say now either, but at least I’m back at work. And yes, I caught up on over a week’s worth of work in 3 hours. Not bad. Not good either.

I’m sure there is more work for me to be doing. Though I can’t for the life of me figure what it could be. It isn’t that I’m lazy at work. It is just that I get things done so damn fast. Of course I skip about 80% of the steps that some other OCs do, but I consider them useless after about a week. 😛 I’m not doing brain surgery or solving world hunger over here.

I’m answering emails. Posting pictures. Uploading new information. Updating old information.

You know- the drudge’s work. 🙂

I know there are a lot more CEOs, Managers, and Supervisors that are tech savvy coming into the business world. Many think that they don’t need an OC, Administrator, or Secretary. But the truth of the matter is- they do.

You know when you call the office and some poor guy answers the phone who says they’ll pass the message along then you never hear from that person again. That’s an office without an OC. You know when you get the line that your paperwork that you sent via email got lost. That is an information center without an OC.

There is no one who is actually doing the information management. There is no one who is actually seeing that messages get to where they are supposed to go. There is no one who is actually ensuring that emails are forwarded to the right person.

Hell, most of the time you have to wade through the machines before you get to that poor guy who barely has the telephone connection to be understandable.

For the most part the job of being the Information Manager has been rolled up into other jobs that fall under the umbrella term of customer service. That is like saying the traffic cop’s job is under the umbrella term of homicide. Two vastly different systems.

I think I’ll stop this line of thinking. It sounds way too much like I’m trying to become a politician. I’m good, but I’m not that good. 😛

One down

Curious things, habits. People themselves never knew they had them.
Agatha Christie

The downside to the Hunt is that it is all over too quickly to do me any good. ~sighs~  Maybe I just draw the easily caught ones. I’d like to say that I don’t enjoy the random prey I find, but that would be a very bad lie. 🙂 I’m not likely to actually keep any of them or meet them in real life so what is the point of developing a long term relationship with them?

I suppose I could always come to look at them like friends, but I highly doubt it. It isn’t in me to trust someone enough to be a friend once I’ve seen them as prey. At least not often. I think there have only been 2 or 3 people who have managed to go from prey to lover to friend in all my life (short as it is).

Yes one of them is Lyo, but he never really did hit the radar as strictly prey. Suhrim either and he’s the other. The last one…will be my secret for the moment. 😀 Though I will say he was more Predator than prey just not enough of one to count for much fun. 😛

In any event- I’m still looking for distractions and am likely to be so for awhile. Which is nice to know. 😉

Lighter note

Oooh….I didn’t know they were still doing radio drama shows! 😀 Sweet!!! ~happy dance~

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