Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

Archive for the category “Diet”

Set Backs are a bitch

You are remembered for the rules you break.Douglas MacArthur

Set backs are frustrating. Not so much because they make me work around a problem or through it, but because I’m an impatient person. Very impatient. 🙂

I want things to work out quickly with a fast solution that I can see coming. When I watch a movie I will usually record it just so that I can flip through channels while waiting for the ending of said movie. Or I will fast forward through bits and pieces of the movie so that I can get to the end. And yesI will read the ending of a story just so I know what happens. Then maybe go back and read the actual book.

Unfortunately life doesn’t allow for such short cuts.

Well, I guess it isn’t unfortunate because I’m not sure I’m ready to find out how I die. 😛 But I wouldn’t mind knowing what the otherside is like before I get there. Maybe I won’t have such a bitch of a time with first impressions then.

But right now the only set back I’m annoyed with is that my IBS is trying to flair up. Well, maybe trying is the wrong word. It has flared back up. So I’m back to popping a  mineral supplement that seems to help. But here’s the fun part.

I used to be really good at swallowing pills…food I didn’t like…and now I can’t seem to get these stupid pills down without gagging on them. ~sighs~ And they taste terrible. 😦

I guess it is what it is. But it is still a set back to my health. One of the few things that can get me to act rather than just bitch about it. If I don’t improve by next month I guess I’ll be off to see a professional. >_< Not a good start to getting out of debt.

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I wouldn’t mind more sleep, but hold the dreams….

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So I made it back from camp and it was…interesting. Snow, rain, wind, and mind numbing cold. Fun times. 😉 And just think I’ll be heading back out there soon for another round.

The Gypsy Trailer did great! And even the tiny black truck that pulled it did fine though it won’t be doing that again. I now have great sympathy for those trailers going down the road at 1/2 the speed limit. Of course that sympathy probably will fade by next summer. 😀 But a girl can’t be perfect. Besides we did pull over frequently to let the other cars go by so in a way- we are the better drivers. 😉

On the IBS front…I’m learning. Such as I learned that yes I can drink 13 beers in one night and still be normal (for me) the next day. I also learned that if I do that I should probably take my medication the day following the next morning unless I’m traveling with a guy that won’t stop at rest stops when you them out. >_<

After we got back I spent the most of the first night trying to get my brain to shut up so I could sleep. It didn’t help that I read The Shining just before bed. And it didn’t help that I was trying to remember what the hell I did with the toys I thought I took to camp. Luckily those toys didn’t make it to camp, but I couldn’t get out of bed to check their locations.

Just another typical night.

 

Well, on the bright side it has a name now

Every patient carries her or his own doctor inside.-Albert Schweitzer

Okay I think I’m better now. Or at least I’m focusing on a different problem altogether for the moment. Plus it helps that Lyo did apologize for making it sound like the whole thing was my fault. Nothing says ‘I’m sorry’ like admitting you were wrong. 😉

So it seems as if my health issues will be ongoing… as in for the rest of my life ongoing. ~sighs~ It seems I have IBS in its Alternating form. 😦 At least that is how the symptoms read when I go through the list. Official confirmation will have to wait until I get back from the Trip. Until then I’m experimenting with different supplements and recently starting taking some Probiotics to control what symptoms I do and will have.

What really bites about IBS is that some of the food/drink they tell you to avoid are my favorites. Caffeine, alcohol, dairy, and of course wheat.

Can someone please tell me what I’ve done in my past lives to deserve this? 😦

Shouldn’t…Should…Shouldn’t…Should…

Be yourself is the worst advice you can give to some people.
Tom Masson

How can you tell when a habit is starting to become a bad thing?

Answer- when other people are bitching about it.

Angel’s translation- No more drinking at home. At least not for a long while. A long…long…looonngg time.

~sighs~ The things we do just so that other people can keep calm. 😛

Honestly it isn’t a bad idea, me being dried up a bit. It might even help with some of the health issues I’ve been having. Which probably means that I should be drier longer than I’m planning on, but it is unlikely to happen. 😉

Oh well. I live with that.

😀

You to?

I’m worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It’s not holding a charge.
Edward Chilton

Where did the weekend go? And why the hell didn’t I spend it at the beach?

Oh yeah, the beach was windy and I hate sand blowing in my face. Plus the water is too damn cold. And add on top of that I decided that my goal was to mow/weed whack the yard.

Doesn’t sound too hard does it. But try adding a 80% slope to the mix that is badly terraced. That and I’m allergic to grass when it is cut. Yech.

But the good news is that I did most of the work. Now I just have to get the other 1/2 of the slope done. And Lyo built 2 out of 4 walls for the trailer. Maybe we will get it done by this season’s trip. 🙂

Then again I’m not holding my breath. It just doesn’t seem like that good of an idea right now. 😛

I also discovered something else this weekend. I am totally out of shape. Not a little. Totally. ~sighs~ I know I let myself get this way, but it is still a bitch to realize just how out of shape I’ve become. There is little else in the world that can leave a person feeling so low as when you walk up a little incline and go to your knees at the end.

I’m actually disgusted by it. Which makes me more resolved to take the bike out of storage and get to riding again. 2 miles once or twice a week has got to be better than nothing right?

Well…maybe.

Seems every time I get a little exercise I end up gaining 5 pounds. (And in what world is that even close to being fair?!) But I’m willing to give it a shot. 🙂

In other news-

It seems as if the Hunt is over for a while. 😦 At least until my back and hip stop aching and I can figure out why the hell the left side of my abdomen is freaking out.

But on the bright side…Summer came early. 😀

It’s only a pet peeve

If you can knock me down with a feather- I’m already dead.

-Angel

I’m not what I would consider an active person. Fact is the only reason I ever get any type of activity in is because the alternative is either a long wait or not doing what I wanted to do in the first place.  Or I need to take Lyo out for a walk. 😛

But the fact remains that I will never be the slim model I am supposed to be. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not what I call fat either. I would have to be at least 400lbs (gods forbid) before I go that  far.

I just know that the slim and trim bodies you may see everyday will never be me. And I’m okay with that. In fact I think I maybe a little more than okay with it. I’m happy with it.

That is not to say that I like having my picture taken.  I had someone try to explain to me that I’m just a typical woman who doesn’t understand the reason why I don’t like my pictures. This person (I now dub him Jack) went on to say that if the picture was flipped 180 degrees I would look like I do in the mirror each morning.

Now I should be flattered that Jack took my picture. I should find it absolutely hilarious in fact. But I don’t like my picture being taken for a very simple reason. A picture isn’t ME.

It focuses on the physical with none of my charm, intelligence, or humor showing through. It tells a person nothing about who I am.

I could be standing in the middle of my office and have a picture taken, but even then it reveals little about me.

And I hate that. It is impersonal. It isn’t a true picture.

Bah, maybe I’m just being overly annoyed.

 

I’m shuddering at the phantom pain of it…

Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.
-Sir Francis Bacon

I made a promise to myself this year to really try and see if I can get down the recommended weight for my age and height. This includes getting away from my office and going down to the gym at least 3 times a week starting next month. But I’m finding myself trying to talk myself out of it.

The excuses-

  1. Everyone there knows what the hell their doing, but I don’t. 
  2. I don’t want other people to notice that I’m there, but they will.
  3. I don’t have enough time in my day to get my ass down there (less than 2 blocks) without having to get up early or sacrifice reading time in the evening.

But the part of me that is curious about what I would look like at a ‘proper’ weight is pushing back.

The answers-

  1. Everyone started somewhere and you can damn well get on a treadmill or stair stepper without an instruction manual.
  2. No one is going to notice you anymore than they do on the street. You may say hi and stuff, but you don’t have meaningful conversations in 5-10 seconds. Get over it.
  3. You have plenty of time if you figure you can work out and then watch Top Chef, Face Off, and Chiller’s Friday Night Premiers which don’t start until 6pm or 7pm. Plenty of time for an 45-50 minute run/walk on the machines.

It can be hard to argue with myself sometimes. Like when I started to grow my hair out. At first it was at Lyo’s request. Then my curiosity took over and even though it has been a pain in the ass I’m still letting it grow out. I’m curious to see if I can get it down to my waist.

I find that as long as I let my curiosity run with something I’m more than likely to do something.

Write a book. I did NaNo out of curiosity and met some great people.

Have an art show. I did this at a local coffee shop and it went really well. Another something I want to get back into doing.

And now losing weight.

It isn’t about the goal. Gods know I not overly fat, but I like my food. I also don’t happen to agree with the recommended weight they have me in. I would be a stick (a very sickly looking stick) if I tried to be in the lower part of the bracket.

Nope, I’ll aim for the upper end of the bracket and as long as I’m within 10 lbs of it I’m going to call it good. Not for any other reason than I’m curious if I can do it.

…and if I can keep it that way. 😀

Weekend….

“Inventivness and insight deep, Bring to me while I sleep. Self-expression feeds the soul, Wise Dragon help me find a richer goal.”

I’m kind of excited today. It may be the first time Lyo and I can take the bikes out to the park for a ride around the trails. Don’t get me wrong- going around the block is okay, but I want to push myself and get in a longer ride. We’ll have to wait and see what the weather does though. Which in this neck of the woods it can change in a heart beat. ~laughs~

I’m also trying to clean up the house so that when he has his surgery the house won’t cause an infection. ~sighs~ And of course who hasn’t done house cleaing since they got a new job? ~raises hand~ That would be me. ~laughs~

Now I need to get my nerve to cooperate.

and of course I’ve still got to work on my diet spreadsheet.

Too much stuff to do and not enough time to do it. ~wry grin~

Work and the things we do to avoid it.

“Inventiveness  and insight deep, Bring to me while I sleep. Self-expression feeds the soul, Wise Dragon help me find a richer goal.”

This is going to be an interesting month. And I’m not sure if it is good or bad yet. ~wry grin~ On one hand Lyo goes back in for surgery and the only thing I can think about is if he stays for the night I might not be sober by the time I have to be at work. Well, sober enough to drive, but definetly not feeling 100%. ~amused~ It will be the first time in a month or two that I’ve had anything to drink without him there. Damn the promise. ~chuckles~

In any event….today is all about working on simplifing my diet. It isn’t going to change all that much. Since I’m having trouble keeping track on a daily basis I’m going to try to work out an average calorie for food groups with pointers on which ones are actually lower than the average I come up with. I will also be simplifing the Y-scores too- even though the system is pretty simple on its own. But not daily simple if you don’t pay attention to it…like me. ~wry grin~

Wish me luck…this is going to be an interesting day.

An update on Life in General

Life might get back to normal someday soon…but I’m not going to count on it. ~wry grin~ At the moment my expirment with St. John’s Wort is working out well. It has made the pain less…or at least to my perception. I’m down to using it twice a day now instead of every few hours, which is good considering for a small bottle it is $13 in my neck of the woods. And at the rate I was using it…I would’ve needed another bottle by next Wednesday. ~shudders~

In other news…I fell off my diet for two days. I’m getting back into it, but only partially. Apparently I’m having trouble with the Y-score part of it. Which could be why I’m having such a hard time with my nerves . I’m not sure why I’m having such a hard time keeping track of it….though keeping it out of mind might have something to do with it. ~amused~ I’m still trying to come up with a simple tracking method that doesn’t have me switching between screens so frequently.

I found an app that works great for tracking calories, but the big downside is that it won’t sync between phone and tablet. The other really really REALLY annoying feature is the bloody thing crashes on my tablet everytime I do something. ~sighs~ But all that aside…I want something similiar…only more.

Anyone out there an app writer for Droid who wants to work on this?

And on the personal front…

Work is going well, picking up and all that fun stuff.

Lyo is going back in for another surgery later this month and then is housebound during recovery for 2 weeks.

And have I mentioned that since I’m paid hourly February is the worst month in the year? Oiy….it tightens everything up. ~1/2 smile~

Oh well…I guess it is better than the alternative. I’m not that bored yet. ~laughs~

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