Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

This is what happens with too much time to kill

Language is the source of misunderstandings. Antoine de Saint-Exupery

All has been quiet on the home and work front for the past week. Which leads me to wonder what’s coming down the pipeline. This isn’t good because right now one of the avenues that something could go wrong is Lyo’s health getting worse.

Actually I’ve been think alot about what would happen to me if Lyo wasn’t here. Would I keep the house? Would I be able to keep my shit together long enough to make it through to the other side of grief? 

The scary answer is No.

Maybe that is why I can feel myself sort of shutting down parts of how I feel. I didn’t know I could do that. Nor do I know how long I’ve been doing this. It is kind of odd not to feel upset/pissed off/afraid of what will happen if we don’t get this figured out.

I’m not sure if this just my ignoring how I’m feeling or if I just haven’t figured out what I’m feeling. ~shrugs~ 

Or if this is me after a couple of drinks. 😉



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