Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

I maybe cynical, but I do it with a smile

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. H. L. Mencken

I am going into my ‘pollyana’ stage. Things just aren’t bothering me as much as they should…or rather as much as they normally do. Such as the cold weather. The lack of anything to do.

Some might say that my mind value is becoming more adult like. And that annoys me.

I would rather have the value of a child that looks at the world like one big playground. A scary playground. As a kid you knew where not to go on a playground unless you wanted to run into kids that smoked, beat you up, or made fun of you. And of course there were two ways of dealing with those kids. Well, three if you count giving in. But you had the choice of being pushed around or you could fight back.

High school is more of a real world education than some people realize. 🙂

But the point is eventually we figured out that there was always someone who was going to kick our ass. They eventually figured out that you cut yourself pretty deep if you didn’t stop kicking everyone’s ass.

I got lucky in that my school bullies weren’t that big of problem. Of course it helped that before we got out of grade school I had already hit 6 feet. Kicking my ass wasn’t an option that would win you points. Nor the asses of my ‘friends’. 

I never hated going to school because of the kids. The teachers… yes. The kids… no.

The teachers kept trying to put me in this box that didn’t fit. Either I was an older kid who got held back (as my height seemed to suggest) or I was always bugging them to explain themselves when it was something I didn’t know. I was curious. And yes- sometimes I was a trouble maker. But usually that was because I failed to notice that the other kid had a problem with me. ~shrugs~

Over all though- I liked being around different people. They had different ways of doing things. Different ways of thinking. I may have been completely lost on how to translate their actions and words, but the difference in how they used words and actions was interesting to me.

Yes even the teachers.

I guess that is something I don’t want to loose. I don’t want the adult mind value where it is usually- I’m right, you’re wrong. I don’t want to close up that tightly.

Kind of like the sign said-

I didn’t grow up. I just got taller.



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