Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

I’m shuddering at the phantom pain of it…

Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.
-Sir Francis Bacon

I made a promise to myself this year to really try and see if I can get down the recommended weight for my age and height. This includes getting away from my office and going down to the gym at least 3 times a week starting next month. But I’m finding myself trying to talk myself out of it.

The excuses-

  1. Everyone there knows what the hell their doing, but I don’t. 
  2. I don’t want other people to notice that I’m there, but they will.
  3. I don’t have enough time in my day to get my ass down there (less than 2 blocks) without having to get up early or sacrifice reading time in the evening.

But the part of me that is curious about what I would look like at a ‘proper’ weight is pushing back.

The answers-

  1. Everyone started somewhere and you can damn well get on a treadmill or stair stepper without an instruction manual.
  2. No one is going to notice you anymore than they do on the street. You may say hi and stuff, but you don’t have meaningful conversations in 5-10 seconds. Get over it.
  3. You have plenty of time if you figure you can work out and then watch Top Chef, Face Off, and Chiller’s Friday Night Premiers which don’t start until 6pm or 7pm. Plenty of time for an 45-50 minute run/walk on the machines.

It can be hard to argue with myself sometimes. Like when I started to grow my hair out. At first it was at Lyo’s request. Then my curiosity took over and even though it has been a pain in the ass I’m still letting it grow out. I’m curious to see if I can get it down to my waist.

I find that as long as I let my curiosity run with something I’m more than likely to do something.

Write a book. I did NaNo out of curiosity and met some great people.

Have an art show. I did this at a local coffee shop and it went really well. Another something I want to get back into doing.

And now losing weight.

It isn’t about the goal. Gods know I not overly fat, but I like my food. I also don’t happen to agree with the recommended weight they have me in. I would be a stick (a very sickly looking stick) if I tried to be in the lower part of the bracket.

Nope, I’ll aim for the upper end of the bracket and as long as I’m within 10 lbs of it I’m going to call it good. Not for any other reason than I’m curious if I can do it.

…and if I can keep it that way. 😀


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