Living in a Dream

Sometimes I just think too much

Stress?….what stress?

So. This whole wedding thing is about to become an actual Thing now. Something I hadn’t planned on, not going the way I want it to, and it has Lyo yelling at me because I’m pissed off at my lack of perfection for a wedding flier because he forgot to tell people that it was potluck gathering after the 10 minute ceremony (that I wanted to be 2 minutes, but can’t because of his sister). Yeah…not the least bit problematic at all.

What I don’t get is why I am hurt over this. Why is it my fault for not taking care of the whole bloody mess when I know Lyo likes to put things off to the last minute? Why am I the one who is responsible for it? This whole thing isn’t even going close to MY idea of a wedding. This wasn’t even close to how I wanted to do things, but that is a bit late to change now isn’t it. Besides- I did suggest my idea and Lyo wasn’t fond of it so we had to compromise. He gets the ceremony to please his sister (grrr) and I get the Not A Reception Reception. Fair right?

I ask him, I tell him, I’ve been reminding him of this since this whole fucked up mess got going that I wanted one that was similar to a friend’s reception which was everyone bring something to eat (finger food, etc) and your own drinks. It isn’t so much a reception as an excuse to have a party. Easy idea. Nothing to it. Just tell the people we want to invite. Now…

He wants to put up a bloody flier or hand out invitations or some other thing. And who has to come up with something? Who gets to have people she doesn’t even like all that well at this Thing?

No…this isn’t a wedding anymore….it is a bloody, fucking Thing that I’m only going through because 1. I do love him. 2. If we make it through this….we can pretty much handle anything. 3. I’m not moving all my stuff again if anything happens to Lyo. I WILL stay in that house.

But trust me …..unless there is a REALLY good reason for getting married….avoid it. It isn’t worth the hurt feelings and starry eyed dreams being shattered to jump into getting married.

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